By: Stan Popovich
Do you get anxious and nervous when meeting other people?
Meeting new people can be challenging if you’re someone who struggles with anxiety. The thought of starting a conversation with a stranger can fill us with fear.
The good news is that it’s normal to feel anxious in these situations, and there are practical steps you can take to help you feel comfortable.
How To Reduce the Stress of Meeting Others
1. Be yourself: Do not pretend to be someone you are not because it will catch up to you. Give people a chance to learn who you are as a person when developing new friendships.
2. Find people of similar interests: It is important to meet people who have things in common with you. It will make it easier to start a conversation and increase the chances of developing a friendship.
3. Hang out with friendly people: Use good judgement in who you hang out with and try to find people who are friendly. If somebody gives you a hard time, find someone else who may be easier to talk to. Don’t be in a rush to talk to the first person you see.
4. Consider the other person’s needs: Try to show some interest in the people you meet. Talk to them in terms of their needs and wants. Asking questions and being a good listener can go a long way in developing long lasting friendships.
5. Keep an open mind: It is important not to judge people before you get to know them. Ask questions and get to know the person before deciding if you want to become friends. The key is to learn as much as you can about the person you are talking to. This will help you decide if this is a person you want to become friends with.
6. Be honest: Feeling anxious? A lot of people struggle with stress and anxiety. When you open up to people, they’ll feel inspired to do the same.
7. Don’t try to please everyone: If you try to make everyone happy, it’s going to end up backfiring. You don’t have to lie about your beliefs or values in order to get people to like you. You do not have to always agree to go to every hangout or party you get invited to.
8. Learn to relax: Take a deep breath to help relax before you socialize with others. If you still feel stressed, then get some fresh air or take a quick walk to help relax. You will feel less anxious when talking with others which will help improve the chances of making friends.
9. Use good judgement: You need to find a place that has social activities. Once you get to a place, always read the room to see which people seem interested in meeting others and those who keep to themselves and are not interested in talking.
Use an ice breaker to develop a conversation with someone that you do meet. At the end of the night, you can say “Would you want to meet for coffee and follow up on our talk”. If they say yes, then exchange numbers.
Characteristics of Places to Meet People
Some places to meet new friends are better than others. Here are some guidelines you may want to follow:
- Somewhere where the situation breaks the ice for everyone and naturally gives them reasons to talk to each other.
- A place that allows you to reliably see the same people several times, so you have a chance to get comfortable with them and gradually get to know them.
- A place that allows you to meet people who are similar to you, in terms of your interests and values.
- Somewhere where there’s a core of regulars, but also new people continually entering the mix.
Examples of Places to Meet Others
1. Play on a sports team: Adult sports teams are very popular and signing up for a recreational team will introduce you to a new group of friends. You’ll develop some camaraderie from playing together, and socializing after the game may occur.
2. Church groups: Besides attending church, there may be events, recreational activities, and clubs you can take part in. Different churches have different things to them based on their denomination. You may have to try a few before you find one that you may like.
3. A club or organization: You can sign up and find a group of people who share a similar interest to yours. You can also start your own club or informal meet up. For example, you could start up a book club and have the first meeting be at a local cafe.
4, Volunteering: Volunteering has the potential to make longer relationships with others. You could tutor kids, help out at a shelter, or help dogs find their forever homes. Look into your local volunteer organizations for more information.
5. Sign up for a class: Find a nearby class that you could sign up for. You could try cooking, knitting, meditating, making pottery, or anything else you can think of that you might like to do.
6. A job dealing with the public: The idea is that the customers will tend to talk to you. The ideal situation is working at a place where customers speak to each other and the staff.
7. Bars or pubs: If you hang around a place long enough, you’ll see who the other regulars are, and you can get to know them. Also, if you play a game like pool, darts, or air hockey you can ask other people to play against you. You’re bound to talk to them as you play.
8. Public places: Coffee shops, comedy clubs, local events, libraries, and museums are some examples where you can meet others. If you’re outgoing and confident you can strike up conversations with people in these places, and you may hit it off with some of them and arrange to keep in touch.
9. Join a gym: Joining a gym is a great way to stay fit and be social. You may find something you enjoy and maybe meet someone that you can hang out with outside the gym.
10. Festivals and local events: Attending festivals is one of the best ways to meet new friends. Festivals are centered around having fun, and include group activities like games, competitions, and demonstrations. Your local city or town newspaper’s website may have a calendar of events for you to go to.
How To Be a Good Friend
You need to be a good listener, show genuine interest in others, and communicate openly and honestly with others.
It’s very important to know how to read the room when going to any social event. You can talk to a counselor for advice on how to manage the anxieties of meeting other people.
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