How To Deal With Gossip

Managing Gossip In Your Life

By: Stanley Popovich

Do you find it challenging in dealing with gossip from others?

It can be stressful when you’re around people who gossip on a regular basis.

As a result, here are some ways to deal with gossip in your life.

Why Do People Gossip?

Gossip can provide us with a sense of bonding that we all want. Most gossip falls into the “negative” category and people gossip for a variety of reasons:

1. To feel superior: Many people who are insecure about themselves find temporary relief in judging others. Knowing something that others do not know can make you feel important.

2. They’re bored: When people can’t generate exciting discussions based on knowledge or ideas, gossip can arouse people’s interest.

3. Jealousy: Some people are jealous of other people’s success and feel that they need to show others that they are also important.

4. To get attention: People gossip to feel like they belong to a group. Being the center of attention while gossiping can be compared to getting attention that they need in their life.

How You Can Deal with Gossip

Everyone talks about other people from time to time. Gossiping and spreading rumors can become a real problem, especially if those rumors are hurtful or tear someone down. Here are a few tips to help avoid gossip in your life:

Hanging Out with the Right People

1. Choose your friends wisely: Your best bet is to spend your time with people who tend to mind their own business. Play it safe and try to keep a distance from those who like to talk about others.

Pick people you know and trust and tell them about what’s happening. If the rumors are not true, they can fight the rumor by shooting it down whenever they hear someone bring it up or see it online. If the rumor is true, they can still help stop its spread by sticking up for you and chastising people that spread it.

3. Watch what you say: If people start asking you questions on certain issues it is best to be honest and explain yourself in a professional manner. Make sure that the truth comes out and address rumors that are inaccurate. It is important to be honest and to be cautious about what you say to others.

Let Gossip Take Its Course

At times, go with the flow but do not say anything that will add fuel to the fire. Keep your thoughts to yourself. Eventually, the topic of conversation will change, and you can contribute to a more worthwhile topic.

1. Ignore it: Sometimes, it takes more energy and effort to address gossip. Ultimately, rumors become less noteworthy over time, and people generally forget them.

2. Laugh it off: Don’t get upset when someone talks about you. Instead of getting mad, learn to laugh it off. If your peers see that you do not get testy when someone talks about you, the chances are they will leave you alone in the future.

3. Smile and look confident: It is important to believe in yourself and that you display confidence when dealing with others. Bullies tend to bother people who are unsure about themselves. Having a lot of self-confidence will prevent someone from targeting you.

If you know there’s a rumor going around about you, it can be tough to go about your day. Try your best to do the activities you would normally participate in. Show the world how little you care about gossip by not altering the way you live.

Don’t let gossip change the way you think about yourself! The worst thing you can do is to allow a piece of gossip to become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Remember that just because someone’s said something about you doesn’t mean it’s true.

6. Tell people the facts: If the gossip is inaccurate, provide factual information to correct the misunderstanding. Talk to other people about the facts of the situation so other people will know the truth.

Learning How to React to Gossip

1. Don’t pass the gossip along: The most important thing you can do when you hear gossip about someone is to stop the rumor in its tracks. No matter how juicy it seems, it’s not worth hurting someone’s feelings. Put yourself in the person’s shoes and remember that you’d likely feel betrayed or hurt if someone was spreading rumors about you.

2. Express disinterest: Show a lack of interest by using non-verbal cues like looking away or responding with neutral phrases like “that’s interesting”. 

3. Deflect and change the topic: When someone starts gossiping, subtly shift the conversation to a different subject to avoid participating. 

4. Remain neutral: When hanging out with your friends, it is best to keep your opinions to yourself. Do not talk about people behind their back. You do not want to get others angry with you.

5. Walk away: You have the choice to walk away from your friends who are trying to spread false rumors about someone. Eventually, those same friends will start talking about you if you continue to participate in their gossip. Your best is to find supportive people you can spend your time with.

Talk To the Person Who Is Causing Problems

If someone is spreading rumors about you, address it with them. Doing so may help the person realize the impact of their actions.

Assertively expressing your feelings without blaming or accusing them can be an effective way to stop gossip. Stay calm and collected while doing this to avoid causing any more drama.

Sometimes, the person who started the rumor didn’t do it on purpose. It may, for instance, be a friend who simply let a secret slip by accident. In cases like this, it’s OK to express your disappointment, but avoid acting in a way that seems vindictive. 

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