By: Stan Popovich
Bullies come in all shapes and sizes. Nobody deserves to be bullied, but many of us deal with them over time. Either way, when you find yourself being bullied, there are steps you can take to stop the behavior.
What is Bullying
Bullying is when people repeatedly and intentionally use words or actions against someone or a group of people to cause distress and risk to their wellbeing. These actions are usually done by people who have more influence or power over someone else, or who want to make someone else feel less powerful or helpless.
The Different Types of Bullying
There are three types of bullying:
- Verbal bullying is saying or writing mean things. Verbal bullying includes:
- Teasing
- Name-calling
- Inappropriate sexual comments
- Taunting
- Threatening to cause harm
- Social bullying involves hurting someone’s reputation or relationships. Social bullying includes:
- Leaving someone out on purpose
- Telling other children not to be friends with someone
- Spreading rumors about someone
- Embarrassing someone in public
- Physical bullying involves hurting a person’s body or possessions. Physical bullying includes:
- Hitting/kicking/pinching
- Spitting
- Tripping/pushing
- Taking or breaking someone’s things
- Making mean or rude hand gestures
The Effects of Bullying
Students and adults who are bullied are more likely to develop depression. The most common signs of depression include sleep problems, appetite changes, emotional disturbances, and thoughts of suicide. Children who experience depression may lose enjoyment in activities that once brought them happiness.
Bullying can make students and adults more likely to develop anxiety. Anxiety makes it harder for people to form relationships with friends, peers, and other adults.
Bullying can happen in schools, at home, at work, and on online. Bullying can be physical, verbal, emotional, and it also includes messages, public statements and behavior online intended to cause distress or harm. But no matter what form bullying takes, the results can be the same: severe distress and pain for the person who is bullied.
How To Deal with a Bully
1. Show people that you are confident in yourself: It is important to believe in yourself and that you display confidence when dealing with conflict. Bullies tend to bother people who are unsure about themselves, so it is important that other people know that you have self-confidence. This will prevent a bully from targeting you.
One way to increase confidence in yourself is through the martial arts. Martial arts offer a multitude of benefits, and one of the most significant is the boost in self-confidence. Through physical fitness, skill development, goal achievement, positive reinforcement, and self-defense training, individuals of all ages can experience increased self-esteem, resilience, and belief in their own abilities.
2. Stand up for yourself: Stand your ground when dealing with conflict from others. This will show others that you will stick up for yourself
It’s important on how to address a bully. Make eye contact, stand up straight with your head high, speak in a strong voice, wash your hair, and wear clothes that show that you are confident in yourself. It’s not about how strong you are, but rather the willingness to show others that you won’t be taken advantage of.
3. There is safety in numbers: If you can, it is good to hang out with a group of friends. A bully will tend to go after somebody who is alone and by themselves. A bully will less likely bother you if they know that you have a group of people that will back you up. Having acquaintances can also go a long way in preventing someone from getting on your case.
4. Find others who share your interests: You may be able to make friends at a youth group, book club, or religious organization. Learn a new sport, join a team, or take up a new hobby such as chess, art, or music. Volunteering is a great way to feel better about yourself and expand your social network.
5. Never show them your emotions: If someone decides to get on your case, it is a good idea to not let the person know they are getting to you. Letting a bully know that they are bothering you will only make things worse. Never show the bully your fears or frustrations. Hopefully, the person will get tired of bothering you and they will find somewhere else to go.
Bullies want attention and gain satisfaction from making others feel hurt or uncomfortable, so reacting to them will only encourage them. Ignore them and deny them any power over you, and they’ll eventually leave you alone.
6. Talk to the person: If possible, talk to the person who is bothering you and ask why they are bulling you. Ask them if you did anything wrong that made them angry. Apologize if you did something wrong that wronged them.
Stay calm and be polite when talking to the person who is harassing you. Offer solutions that will help solve any misunderstandings. Hopefully, there may be a chance to reconcile with that person.
Getting Help for Bullying
When you’re being bullied, having trusted people you can turn to for encouragement and support will ease your stress and boost your self-esteem and resilience. Talk to a parent, teacher, counselor, or other trusted adult. Connect with real friends and those who don’t participate in any kind of bullying.
You may want to talk to a mental health professional who can assist you with your situation. A counselor will be able to provide you with additional advice and insights on how to deal with your current problem.
Like What You Read?
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