Have you ever been bullied?
It can be very scary and stressful when someone gets on your case on a regular basis.
Fortunately, there are things that you can do to help deal with a bully in your life.
What is Bullying?
Bullying is when people repeatedly and intentionally use words or actions against someone or a group of people to cause distress and risk to their wellbeing. These actions are usually done by people who have more influence or power over someone else.
Bullying Comes in Different Types
1. Verbal bullying means saying or writing mean things. Verbal bullying can include teasing, name-calling, taunting, and threatening to cause harm.
2. Social bullying involves hurting someone’s reputation or relationships. Social bullying can include leaving someone out on purpose, telling others not to be friends with someone, spreading rumors about someone, and embarrassing someone in public.
3. Physical bullying involves hurting a person’s body or possessions. Physical bullying can include hitting/kicking/tripping/pushing, taking or breaking someone’s things.
The Effects of Bullying
Students and adults who are bullied are more likely to develop depression. The most common signs of depression include sleep problems, appetite changes, emotional disturbances, and thoughts of suicide. Children who experience depression may lose enjoyment in activities.
Bullying can make students and adults more likely to develop anxiety. Anxiety makes it harder for people to form relationships with friends, peers, and other adults.
Bullying can happen in schools, at home, at work, and online. Bullying can be physical, verbal, emotional, and includes messages, public statements, and online behavior intended to cause harm.
How You Can Deal with a Bully
1. Show that you have confidence: It is important to believe in yourself and to display confidence when dealing with conflict. Bullies tend to bother people who are unsure about themselves, so it is important that other people know that you have self-confidence.
One way to increase confidence in yourself is through the martial arts. Martial arts offer a multitude of benefits, and one of the most significant is the boost in self-confidence. Through physical fitness, skill development, goal achievement, positive reinforcement, and self-defense training, individuals of all ages can experience increased self-esteem, resilience, and belief in their own abilities.
2. Make eye contact: Eye contact can be significant, as bullies have less empathy when they can’t see your face or eyes. Having strong eye contact is also a sign of greater self-confidence, which can reduce the likelihood of being bullied in the first place because it makes you a less desirable target
3. Take care of yourself: Do what you can to take care of your health. Do what makes you feel good and what allows you to feel more confident. Connect with hobbies or activities where you can experience joy and engage in healthy relationships.
4. Stand up for yourself: Stand your ground when dealing with conflict from others. Make eye contact, stand up straight with your head high, speak in a strong voice, wash your hair, and wear clothes that show that you are confident in yourself. It’s not about how strong you are, but rather the willingness to show others that you won’t be taken advantage of.
5. There is safety in numbers: A bully will tend to go after somebody who is alone and by themselves. A bully will less likely bother you if they know that you have a group of people that will back you up. Having acquaintances can go a long way in preventing someone from bothering you.
6. Find others who share your interests: You can always make friends at a youth group, book club, or social organization. Learn a new sport, join a team, or take up a new hobby such as chess, art, or music. Volunteering is a great way to feel better about yourself and expand your social network.
7. Never show them your emotions: Do not let the person know they are getting to you. Letting a bully know that they are bothering you will only make things worse. Never show the bully your fears or frustrations. Hopefully, the person will get tired of harassing you and they will go somewhere else.
Bullies want attention and gain satisfaction from making others feel hurt or uncomfortable, so reacting to them will only encourage them. Ignore them and deny them any power over you. Eventually, they will leave you alone.
8. Talk to the person: Talk to the person who is bothering you and ask them if you did anything that made them angry. Apologize if you did something that wronged them. Stay calm and be polite when talking to the person who is harassing you. Offer solutions that will help solve any problems. Hopefully, there may be a chance to reconcile with that person.
9. Tell a trusted adult: Adults in positions of authority, like parents, teachers, or coaches, often can deal with bullying without the bully ever learning how they found out about it. Write down what happened, when it happened, and who was involved. If the bullying is online, keep the evidence – save or copy any photos, videos, texts, e-mails, or posts.
10. Forgive, but don’t carry the burden: Try not to carry the burden of anger, hurt, or pain with you. That will only give more power to the bullies and incentivize them to do even more. Forgive them for their hurtful comments but choose not to carry the weight of it with you. Fight the effects of bullying with extra-strong doses of self-love.
How You Can Get Help from Bullying
When you’re being bullied, having trusted people you can turn to for encouragement and support will ease your stress and boost your self-esteem and resilience. Talk to a parent, teacher, or counselor to get some advice. Connect with real friends and those who don’t participate in any kind of bullying.
You may want to talk to a mental health professional who can assist you with your situation. A counselor will be able to provide you with additional advice and insights into how to deal with your current problem.
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