How I Overcame The Vicious Cycle Of Worry

By: Stan Popovich

Do you ever get stuck in the vicious cycle of worry and fear in your life?

Most thoughts, emotions, and anxiousness caused by worry are negative, imagining worst-case scenarios, anticipated threats, or scenarios that reflect our own lack of self-worth.

For instance, our worry could be that someone we’re meeting won’t like us; or that an upcoming flight will lead to an emergency landing; or the nagging pain we’ve noticed might be a serious health condition. Most of the time, our worries don’t pan out because worry is invented by the mind and is rarely rooted in fact or truth.

10 Types of Negative Thinking

1. All-or-nothing thinking. Looking at things in black-or-white categories, with no middle ground. “If everything is not perfect, I’m a total failure.”
2. Overgeneralization. Generalizing from a single negative experience, expecting it to hold true forever. “I didn’t get hired for the job. I’ll never get any job.”
3. The mental filter. Focusing on the negatives while filtering out the positives. Noticing the one thing that went wrong, rather than all the things that went right. “I got the last question on the test wrong. I’m an idiot.”
4. Diminishing the positive. Coming up with reasons why positive events don’t count. “I did well on the presentation, but that was just dumb luck.”
5. Jumping to conclusions. Making negative interpretations without actual evidence. You act like a mind reader: “I can tell she secretly hates me.” Or a fortune teller: “I just know something terrible is going to happen.”
6. Catastrophizing. Expecting the worst-case scenario to happen. “The pilot said we’re in for some turbulence. The plane’s going to crash!”
7. Emotional reasoning. Believing that the way you feel reflects reality. “I feel like such a fool. Everyone must be laughing at me.”
8. ‘Should’ and ‘should-nots.’ Holding yourself to a strict list of what you should and shouldn’t do and beating yourself up if you break any of the rules. “I should never have tried starting a conversation with her. I’m such a moron.”
9. Labeling. Criticizing yourself based on mistakes and perceived shortcomings. “I’m a failure; I’m boring; I deserve to be alone.”
10. Personalization. Assuming responsibility for things that are outside your control. “It’s my fault my son got in an accident. I should have warned him to drive carefully in the rain.”

How To Manage Anxious Thoughts

If you suffer from anxiety and worry, chances are you look at the world in ways that make it seem more threatening than it really is. For example, you may overestimate the possibility that things will turn out badly, jump immediately to worst-case scenarios, or treat every anxious thought as if it were fact. You may discredit your own ability to handle life’s problems, assuming you’ll fall apart at the first sign of trouble.

Here is how you can manage these anxious thoughts:

1. Identify triggers: Identifying the triggers and patterns of “what if” thoughts can be a crucial step in managing anxiety. These thoughts revolve around common topics such as financial concerns, relationships, health, and the future. Recognizing these patterns can help you understand when you’re most likely to fall into the trap of “what if” thinking.

2. Identify the thought: Pay attention to what you’re thinking and identify the thoughts that are negative or unhelpful.

3. Challenge the thought: When ‘what- if’ thinking sets in, you might start making up scenarios that aren’t true. Those scenarios that play out in your thinking may cause increased anxiety and fears and involve imagining the worst possible situation.

When a “what if” thought comes, ask yourself how likely it is to happen and if your worry is based on facts or assumptions. Ask yourself if there is concrete evidence to support the thought and focus on the facts and reality of the situation.

4. Do a reality check: Compare your thought to reality. The worst-case scenario doesn’t usually happen. Look at your past experiences and see if there is any evidence that your fears may come true. Ask yourself how you handled your stressful situations in the past. You are a lot stronger than what you may think.

5. Consider alternative explanations: Think about other possible interpretations of the situation. What are my options on dealing with this negative thought?

6. Reframe the thought: Replace the negative thought with a more balanced and realistic one. Instead of dwelling on “what if,” rephrase the thought with “if this happens, then I will do this”. Develop a plan on how you can handle the current situation. Being proactive will help decrease the anxiety of the situation.

How To Manage Worry

1. Practice mindfulness: Focus on the present moment by practicing deep breathing, meditation, or observing your thoughts without judgment.
2. Positive self-talk: Replace negative “what if” thoughts with positive affirmations about your ability to handle situations.
3. Practice self-care: Self-care is an important strategy for managing anxious worry and improving your overall wellbeing. This can include activities such as getting quality sleep, staying active, eating a healthy diet, engaging in hobbies or activities you enjoy, and taking breaks to relax and recharge.
4. Find solutions: Set a specific time to write down your worries and try to find solutions.
5. Deep breathing: Try breathing deeply and relaxing your shoulders.
6. Try journaling: Journaling and other types of writing can help a person express their feelings and channel their thoughts in a more positive direction.
7. Practicing guided imagery: Think of a place or thing that brings you comfort and picture it in your mind.
8. Practice gratitude: Nothing will pull you away from fear of the unknown faster than focusing on what you’re thankful for.
9. Connect with others: Reach out to friends, family, or a support group.
10. Get some help: Talk to a mental health counselor on how to manage your worrying.

How To Manage “What If” Thoughts

“What if” scenarios are hypothetical situations that we imagine in our minds. Just because you think “what if this happens” doesn’t mean it will actually happen. Anxiety or worry is all about anticipation. Most “what if” thoughts focus on negative outcomes and are fueled by anxiety, meaning they are unlikely to materialize as imagined. Remember that it’s never as bad as you think it will be. Focus on the reality of the situation and not on what you think.

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